As we (my doubles partner and I) finished Welsh Open in 2016, a semi-final finish, a good result by our standards, my right knee started giving out a sharp pain again. Having gone through a major surgery on the same knee a couple of years ago it kind of made me feel let down.
But, then again the very next week we had to participate in the Irish Open. Since we were not in the official Indian team (we were paying from our pockets to play those tourneys) we couldn’t afford to just withdraw from the tournament as that meant huge loss of money.
As a result, we had to go even with a dodgy knee of mine and a bit of homesickness. We played the Scottish Open before Welsh, so three weeks of confinement in hotels (we never went out much during tourneys) in a foreign land was not easy.
Well, we lost in the first round in Irish, preponed our tickets, cancelled all our hotel bookings and left for India the very next day. We badly wanted to go back. By then, my knee was bad, the winter (we went in December) made it worse.
As I came back in India, frustrated, angry (not with the performance but with the situation) I realised one thing though, I’d have to start over again. Right from fixing my knee to spend money, climb up the rankings (we were 66 in the world then), prove others wrong and so on.
And, that is when I realised that it is not worth it anymore. I decided to let it go. It was tough initially but then it felt so much better. I retired from professional badminton in Feb 2017.
Looking back at things, I realised that the dodgy knee in a foreign land and a bit of homesickness was a blessing in disguise for me (at that time it didn’t feel like though). It made me grow as a being.
To sum it up, resistance makes us better if we can take it in our stride.
P.S. – This trip was the one where I understood what racism is. It was weird.
Om Shanti..?