Ashton was unlike other twelve year olds. He’d talk very less, sit by the window of his room for hours and generally keep to himself. He’d only talk when it’s necessary for him to. He’d scribble away most of the times in his diary which has a strict ‘hands off’ policy for Martha and her husband John or for that matter anybody else.
Martha was always worried for her son. She’d long for her son to open up a bit more, make friends and be noisy like the other kids, especially Mrs. Smith’s son Ryan, who’s his classmate. The class teacher Ms. Shane would often come to Martha to let her know that Ashton was average at best. Sometimes she’d hint that Martha seeks a little help for him.
“John, do we get help for Ashton as Ms. Shane would like us to do?” asked Martha one morning. “I mean it’d be better to just have another opinion on him.” She further added. “Honey, can we talk about this when I get back from office today?” Asked John. Martha understood that her husband is busy with his presentation. He’s got a potentially life-changing deal on the table for which he’s keeping extremely busy. Martha nodded not saying anything more. She didn’t want John to get distracted with anything other than his work at that moment.
And just then it struck her, maybe just maybe she can get to know more about his beloved son that way. She knew what she needed to do. She went upto Ashton’s room, “Honey, are you ready yet? We’re getting late for school.” Martha asked Ashton. Ashton was almost ready by then. He just needed to go to the bathroom for a minute. Ashton came out and went to take his diary from the drawer. Usually he takes it with him everywhere, even to school. He opened the drawer, looked inside and turned towards Martha, “Mom, my diary!” he said, looking his usual calm, composed, a little less expressive way.
Martha hastily replied, looking at her watch, “Honey, I’m sure you will find it in its place when you get back. But if we don’t leave now then we’ll be late for your school.” Ashton looked a little disturbed to not be able to take his diary to school for the first time in his life. Martha understood that but they’d get really late if they didn’t leave for school right then. She went and grabbed Ashton’s hand and softly said, “come on, let’s go.”
As she got back home, she started doing what she had intended to. Martha had hid the diary under Ashton’s bed when he went to the bathroom. She knew it wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but maybe it was what was needed for her to know her son better. She immediately went to Ashton’s room, got the diary out and opened it. It read ‘Ashton’s Secrets, Keep your hands off.’ Martha smiled looking at the stark warning. She turned the page and started reading.
The lights are dim,
The glow is low,
For it doesn’t matter,
As I should know,
The birds are in the sky,
The fishes down the river,
Some really like the snow,
Others just shiver,
I like to note down,
The things that make me smile,
But I also write down,
Everything that seems vile.
This is how I feel,
This is how I see,
Maybe a bit different,
But there’s no wrong in me.
Martha shut the diary. She slowly put it back in Ashton’s drawer. That was the first one. There were still a lot of pages to go but she need not go through them. For a moment there, she felt a little confused. Maybe even a bit too much to think. ‘This is a twelve year old boy.’ She thought, right after regaining a bit of composure. And then she just started sobbing uncontrollably. ‘This is my boy.’ My son that is writing this.’ she whispered to herself. Tears were gushing out but she realised that she’s never been this happy for them to roll down her cheeks.
Martha understood that her boy, little Ashton is special, special in a different way. Special in a way maybe for Ms. Shane or for that matter many others to find it a bit difficult to understand. There was absolutely no need to get help for him. Still shedding tears of joy, she wanted to run for her mobile to call John up but she knew that she could definitely wait for him to come back and hear it face to face.
Om Shanti…..?